It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
