I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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