You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
