i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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