I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
