how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
