Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
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My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
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When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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