I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Too much gin, very little bucket
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
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