Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
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I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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