Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize