mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
