Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
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