just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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