Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
