god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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