i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize