getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
