i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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