I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
