Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
