Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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