If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
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