I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
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