I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
