So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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