Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
