Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
