Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize