Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
