Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
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