we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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