Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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