i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
