...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
