life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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