So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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