erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
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Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
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The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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