I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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