OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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