we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize