The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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