and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
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