hotel room ftw
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Randomize
