I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
