3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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