before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Randomize
