is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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