I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
