what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
