everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
