Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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