how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
