I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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