Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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