In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.