3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
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My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
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I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.