Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love