also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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