big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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