I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I think I just sharted jello shots
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