Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
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