dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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