It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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