If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
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