i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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